In my late 20s, while volunteering at a shelter for abused women, I saw that there was a need for more in-depth services for the residents. Not believing that I would fail (oh, the bliss of youth), I founded a non-profit, Chayil Inc., that provided domestic violence survivors a 12-month life coaching program that helped them reclaim their power and transform their lives so that living in abuse would NEVER be an option again.
For over 10 years, my amazing staff and I served women who had suffered all kinds of horrendous traumas from domestic abuse and sexual assault to the various traumas that happen to disenfranchised female veterans. This work saved lives… perhaps chiefly my own.
Let me give you some back story. I was born to divorcing parents. Can you say, “BORN into brokenness?” My parents were individually wounded and only created more pain when they were together. My mother moved 1,000 miles away to escape the volatility of the situation, which only left my father feeling angrier, helpless, and broken. Despite their best intentions, my brother and I fared the worst in this situation.
My mother remarried a man that inflicted violence of every kind on all of us. Even the dog did not escape his wrath.
Growing up in a home where I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused changed the trajectory of my life forever.
Like many who see and experience abuse, this new hardwiring of my life energy attracted one abusive situation after the next. I was molested and raped by my Bible teacher and barely escaped being raped by a church member. The sum total of my life experiences left me asking, “Where was God?” (More on my spiritual makeover later.) All of this created a pattern of trying to outperform, out-succeed, and maybe even outrun my painful past.
For years, I ran toward success, ran toward normal, ran toward whatever appeared to be safe, but time and time again I found myself smackdab back in the center of my pain, back in the place where I felt empty and unworthy, back in the arms of those I entrusted to love and protect me but who were only able to exploit me and my “who-ness.” “Why is it still hurting?” I’d ask myself. And then I stopped. I stopped running. I stopped being who I thought others expected me to be, and I began the painful but necessary journey of healing. I did every grueling and gut wrenching piece of my work—often all alone. It was in that process that I discovered how I unknowingly attracted pain, perpetrators, and DISease. I embarked on a quest to learn me, love me, and finally to listen to my inner voice once again.
One day, I looked in the mirror, and there she was!
Honestly, I had to get used to her, because the representative had been running the show for sooooo long that this new chick was foreign to me. But oh, have I enjoyed life with her. I am free. My life’s work and my soul’s purpose are now in alignment, so every day is like Friday for me. I have a beautiful, authentic, and passionate marriage. I’m no longer afraid that I will do irreparable damage to my three gorgeous babies, Deuce, Trice, and Tate, as they are affectionately called. I am now spiritually free and no longer angry with God. For me, this was a HUGE step in my healing, since so much of my abuse was entangled with religion.
I’ve redefined success for me, and I live life on my terms. I trust my voice, and most importantly, I have found a unique gratitude for all of it—every abuser, every betrayal, really, all of it. Because the sum total of my past has created this enchanted life that I live, and now I am perfectly positioned to be of service to you.
I pursued a bachelor of science degree in Industrial/Organization Psychology and went on to The Graduate School of Coaching to perfect my God-given craft of helping people help themselves. I have always known that I was created to serve, and I wanted to be well equipped because my soul knew that you’d be visiting this site in this moment, hoping and praying that I might be able to help you.
I share my story so that you know that you are not alone. I’ve been to hell, and I made it out. Now, I want to help you to stand in your darkness so that you can fully stand in your light. I promise I will be with you every step of the way.